


just wanted a reason

by floweringmings



Category: ATEEZ
Genre: M/M, Soft Boys, fluff?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:29:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23542396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/floweringmings/pseuds/floweringmings
Summary: prompt: hongjoong wakes seonghwa up at 4am to eat cereal
Relationships: Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Comments: 3
Kudos: 101





	just wanted a reason

Hongjoong thought that he was a patient man. He could sit for nine, ten, eleven hours at a time and finish several pieces on a good day. Work was not hard, per se, not in the way people would have guessed it to be. What was tough was coming back so late to a soundless and dark dorm.

Hongjoong pushed the door open, scowling as he reminded himself to tell the members to stop leaving it open for him at night, and peeked into the main room. Four in the morning and no one was awake, as expected. His steps were tiny and padded as he shuffled on over, dropping his bag by the table, something he would be scolded for in the afternoon by Seonghwa. With a sigh, he sank into the cushions of the couch and lolled his head back against the wall.

Long days were not uncommon for Hongjoong. Even with his eyes closed, he could still see the monitor from his studio. He saw the blaring windows pop up saying that his most recent file was corrupted, that it needed to be deleted and restarted if he wanted to work on it again. It happened so frequently that week that he was becoming convinced he might have to never leave the studio to account for lost time.

_Gurrrk..._

Freezing in his seat, Hongjoong eyed the hallway for the noise. It was silly to get paranoid over the sound, the members were the only ones in the dorm afterall, and waited, one, two, three seconds before— 

_Guuuurrrrk…_

He clasped his hands over his stomach as quickly as the sound had arrived, inhaling sharply to stop himself from laughing. He was hungry, not paranoid.

So it was then that he found himself in the kitchen at 4:16 am with perhaps a larger-than-necessary bowl of cereal. It must have looked stupid, how he was hunched awkwardly over the counter while eating, scrolling through his apps for something to do while he ate. Twitter was boring. His youtube feed was even worse. Even the fancafe page felt like it was lacking energy. Maybe it was the timing, maybe it wasn't, but the bowl of cereal became more and more sad with each bite. Not that there was anything wrong with it, he just… was missing something.

Someone. 

Seonghwa. 

He put the spoon back down and pressed his face into his hands. When was the last time he'd sat down to enjoy a moment with him? Hongjoong could easily recall running into any of the members and having five minute conversations about anything from the stars to which color was better for which season, but he had to overturn his memories several times for a good one with the older man. He swiped his notifications down, flicking through the missed calls and voicemails from the younger members in search of any from the eldest.

_Tuesday, 7:41 am_  
**Seonghwa:** are you not home yet? or did you leave again for the studio?  
_Thursday, 8:00 pm_  
**Seonghwa:** dinner is in the fridge packed for you, please reheat it first.  
_1 New Message — Sunday, 3:30 pm_  
**Seonghwa:** i found the nail polish color you liked at the store today, so i left it for you on the table. come home when you're ready, dont work too hard.

Minutes passed with him staring at the messages. At no point in his life did he believe himself to be a dense person. Really, he thought he was pretty diligent in checking for updates and messages from people, but how these slipped passed him for almost a week was… 

The bowl of cereal on the counter suddenly got even sadder. He watched it sit there in its shallow pool of milk, listened to his guilty heart echo in the kitchen and sniffed. Back and forth he paced between the counter and the hallway. How did he manage to mess that up? The windows in his head opened and closed again, telling him that his files were corrupted, that his phone was going unanswered again.

With the same tiny padded steps, Hongjoong went to pick up his bag from the floor and hurried to his shared room down the hall. Before approaching the bed, he could tell Seonghwa was up late waiting from the way he was lying down. Guilt heavied his heart again, which beat a little faster for no reason. Once he was sure his bag was out of the way and not on the floor, he inched closer to Seonghwa's side of the bed. 

"Hyung?" he whispered, gently pushing the covers off his shoulder. "Are you awake?"

Seonghwa grumbled for a moment, and pushed his hands away. "What," he squinted up at Hongjoong and blinked. "What time is it?"

"Four. In the morning. Almost five"

"Ah."

God, he felt like a child being scolded even if the older wasn't yelling. His voice was neither disappointed nor surprised, just concerned, and it hurt. A lot.

"Did you just get home?"

"I've been here for a while," he said even quieter. 

"Ah." Seonghwa sat up, stretching. His hands finally settled down on Hongjoong's to get his attention. "Did something happen?"

Hongjoong tapped back at the other's hands. "Listen, can you come to the living room for a bit?" For a moment he didn't think he'd actually agree. Seonghwa nodded and stood up, ushering the smaller out of the room and towards the couch. "Wait here," he said again. He turned on his heels, making a beeline for the kitchen.

Hongjoong stood on his tip-toes to see into the cabinet that sounded like a chipmunk when you pulled the door too hard, and took out another bowl. Cereal first because that's what Seonghwa would do even if Hongjoong wouldn't himself, and then milk. He picked out the spoons that, as Seonghwa said "were best for cereal", returning to said man who sat blinking sleep out of his eyes.

"Here."

"What is this for?"

"For you," he said, playing dumb. Seonghwa clicked his tongue as Hongjoong took a seat besides him carefully, poking at his cereal. "Really, it's no reason."

"You woke me up to eat cereal?"

"No," Hongjoong spoke between chewing, "but that's what we're doing if that's okay."

The first few minutes were painfully awkward. Hongjoong's eyes adjusted to the dark long before and he could see from the corner of his eye that Seonghwa was waiting for him to say something else. He didn't, until his eyes drifted over towards the table where San and Mingi's console wires sat tangled above a chart. Sat neatly besides it in the center of the table was a little jar of nail polish. He pursed his lips into a find line and eyed his companion for a moment.

Hongjoong shrank a little when the older shifted to face him fully. "I didn't mean to ignore your messages."

Seonghwa nodded.

"I was just working, and—"

"I'm not upset if that's what you're wondering."

"Oh."

Seonghwa sighed and offered a soft smile. "I know you work hard. I don't doubt you, Hongjoong. I never have." There was a noticeable shift in the atmosphere, like the weight in his heart was lessened. "You know that right?"

"Yes," he said quietly. Seonghwa lowered himself to meet his eyes. "Right?"

"Yes," he said again, stopping a grin.

"There we go," Seonghwa nodded back. "Come lay down when you're ready okay? Go wash up." He pressed a small kiss to his forehead, collected both bowls, and left for the kitchen. Hongjoong could hear the sink water running, drowning out a soft hum. Waiting for a minute more before the sink turned off, he walked soundlessly towards the bathroom. His mind drifted while he washed up. He was lucky, really. So lucky. For his group, for his work, for Seonghwa. Their talks were never long, not because they had nothing to talk about, but because Seonghwa could understand what he needed to say and what he couldn't. His smiles, god his smiles, they held every possible good thing he could imagine. Seonghwa was his morning and night, and though he had failed to show him that in the last week, he wasn’t upset. He was never upset.

He rolled into his bed just as the sun was beginning to come up, careful not to disturb his sleeping partner. He watched his chest rise and fall softly, thinking about how his own breathing had slowed to match. He liked how the sunlight made Seonghwa's hair look almost honey brown, or how he would mumble things once in a while. He wanted to wait for him to wake up again to hear his sleepy voice, to see him smile before shutting his eyes softly, asking “did you sleep yet?” before curling up with him again. 

Hongjoong checked the clock, surprised to see an hour had passed since they had talked. "I'm sorry I woke you," he started, quietly enough that he wouldn't wake him up a second time. "I just wanted a reason to be with you, is all…"

The raven haired man sighed, long and sweet, and turned to face Hongjoong, who stared back in shock. "I'm always here, aren't I?" Seonghwa yawned as he said it and then smirked. "Good morning."

Hongjoong closed his eyes, scrunching his nose. "Goodnight," he scoffed, and settled into his pillow a little more comfortably. 

"I love you."

"I love you too."

**Author's Note:**

> technically not my first fic but i’m still very new :< i hope you enjoyed it~


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